Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
