took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My ass is underappreciated
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
