and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
