Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
