She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
