So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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