please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
