I just saw a hot homeless man
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
