i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize