i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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