So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I smell like Dick and happiness
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
