i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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