I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
