yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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