You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
