Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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