don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Randomize
