I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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