Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
