Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
