is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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