She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
