they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
