just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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