dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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