Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
