one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
