Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
