I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
