found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
