listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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