she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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