I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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