I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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