I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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