It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
