My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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