Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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