Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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