M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
