Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
