Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
