soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have post one night stand depression
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
