WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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