how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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