that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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