even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
