I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
