its not stalking. its research.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
