If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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