Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
