Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
