We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize