I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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