He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
