so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
