Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize