Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
