I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
