Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
